At the Moment #3

Hello again,

I like looking back what happened a year ago. Or two. It is not because I live in the past or don’t care about the future it is more about appreciating my way and experiences. And to see where I am now. To see if my dreams, wishes and goals where realistic and if I am a step closer.

At the Moment

So here I am – again. Looking back. My very private way of celebrating my birthday.

.I think: 

Deciding to try this whole girlboss-working-for-my-own-thing was the best decision. I could say why haven’t I done it earlier. Well I wasn’t ready. I wasn’t confident enough but I am happy and proud how it starts to develop and that I am in business like I am after three months already. If you pondering if you want to start something: don’t loose hope. Give it a try. It is damn scary. And it is tough. And there will be a ton of things you don’t know how to do. But at least try. Sounds stupid and like an advise you can ready anywhere. Right. But oh so true…

.I like: 

Hubby. No its a lie. I actually love him.

.I don’t like:

People on eBay Kleinanzeigen (craigslist) who buy something and then never showing up, who are annoyingly asking three million questions to be than telling that they were never interested in the first place, people who are insulting, people who threaten to suit on no ground, people who are not able to form a single sentences and throw only words at me… What is wrong with them? What happened to good manners? Seriously its no fun.

.I feel: 

This year is treating me so much better than the last one. Or the one before. I finally have the feeling of being somewhat in charge again. I feel like I am a bit more myself again. Like waking up from a slumber. Self induced one – maybe. I only know I feel so much better.

.I wear: 

Lipstick. I started wearing real clothes and make up when working in my home office. Not just yoga pants and sweat shirts. Makes me feel legit. I would like to wear more home made clothes though.

.I need: 

Nothing really. I might appreciate some things but I really don’t ned anything. And I am grateful for that.

.I’m annoyed by: 

By cigarette smoke. Seriously, I did we do it when it was allowed to smoke in public? And I did I do it when Mr. ♥ still smoked. It drives me crazy overtime there is a whiff of smokey air coming through the open window. That’ is the con of working in an apartment building. There are people on the other balconies – and they smoke. And I have to be quick to close my windows or else the entire apartment smells like a night club. Exaggerating much – no, not at all!

.I want: 

To finally finish my craft room and now home office. It has been a disaster chaos room. Full of junk, full of unfinished projects, full of promise but now follow through. I still have half a year to get my new years resolution done. Hope I manage but it sure overwhelmed me.

.I hear: 

The rain. I am sitting on my balcony and listened to the rain fall down. It drowns all the noises and mutes them. I am conscious of how loud the city can be and I am often stressed by it. So I love listened to the rain today. That no one is outside and that there are not even cars traveling. And if I close my eyes I could actually imagine it might be a small creek going by.

.I’m making: 

A lot of pictures and photos. I might have mentioned, that I started a photography class in the local community college in November last year. It ended in May. So within the last months my output of photos as increased immensely. I also started a new instagram account if you like to follow.

I am hoping to continue and to actually incorporate it somehow into my career.

.I eat: 

Less. This is somewhat surprising as I can eat and eat and eat. And I love eating. But lately I am not really that hungry and I found myself often going to bed without dinner jus because I was a) to lazy to do something and b) I just didn’t feel hungry.

.I drink: 

Beer. I lately discovered I do like a good pils. My go to is always a Pilsner Urquell but recently I also started to like a Tannenzäpfle. But besides alcohol I have a new coffee drink I like a lot: one spoon of coconut mousse for the coffee. Strong flavor, no sugar.

.I smell: 

Orange blossoms. I managed to pamper my little orange tree (or actually cumquat) and after many years it has finally managed to bloom again. I have had 5 blossoms already now being little green fruits and I have spotted 9 more blossoms yesterday. I am so terribly excited and I hope they will open tomorrow when I have my birthday party. It would be so nice to have the orange smell on the balcony.

.I miss: 

I miss my grandpa. He passed away recently. Actually I miss a lot of people. All the once that are no longer among us. The once I feel like I didn’t spend enough time with when I had the chance because I was too busy with other (unimportant?!) stuff. I miss all the untold stories I am no longer able to hear the informations that are therefore lost forever.

.I regret: 

That I am not really able to apologize.

.I dream:

Of many many things. Vacations with hubby to places like Iceland, Norway, Finnland, New Zealand, Australia. I dream of having my camera with me and snapping some really awesome pics. I dream of days at the spa. I dream of fun times with my god child. I dream of a a happy balanced life with no arguing and being bitchy. I dream of being a better person.

Now that I have typed away on my list I will check out what I wrote in 2016 in 2015 and see if a few things came up again.

If you decide to join the fun let me know in the comments I would love to read.

Happy Sunday to you,

Tobia
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