Things I always wanted and decided not to pursue

Every once in a while I am sitting by the fire wondering about life. About the what ifs… How would life look if I’d had a different friend in high school, what may my path be, had I taken this other job offer. What if I bought the thing I wanted but don’t miss at all today… Let’s those thoughts simmer for a while… I realized I don’t have many regrets. Sure I could have spared myself some heartache but would I really be better off? I don’t think so. It would just be different with other heartaches.

I always wanted my own library room.

While I love books and read a lot I have reduced the books I own immensely. I still do. I decided about seven years ago that I will only own fiction books I’ve red more than once or that I will definitely read again. Then there are those book that have a inspirational character – like DIY books, craft books, photo and art books. Those stay in the collection and I actually bought some on purpose. I feel like if I own those I will look at them multiple times. For me that is worth investing money. Fiction is somewhat for entertainment. Once I read them I am happy and can move on. That is why I read most of them on kindle and don’t need to own them.

I always wanted to study at university

Well this didn’t really work out for me. After high school I wasn’t accepted for the majors I wanted to study (North American Studies and History) and I accepted an apprenticeship in advertising figuring I could do that while waiting to get into university. Once I finished my apprenticeship I didn’t feel like going back to study. I had matured so much in the past years it didn’t feel right and also I wanted to earn my first money. And I wasn’t convinced my choices were that smart. Today I am glad I decided to take the route of night classes. This way I had it all – degree, earning money, being with like minded people. However I can see myself as one of the senior guest visitors in future years.

I always wanted to own a tortoise

My first contact with a tortoise was in the 80s. I was pre-school and I was visiting some people my parents knew. They had one and all I could do was watch it. I even got to feed her lettuce and have her fall asleep on my belly. I was smitten. My mom actually wanted to give me one but sales were banned in 1989/90 as they were on the endangered species list. I got a guinea pig instead – I was not that thrilled at first. My love didn’t day. I started collecting figurines as a teen. I can spot them I the craziest places – the market square in Acco or the wanter ways of Spreewald. When visiting the hardware store I go to the pet area and spend a couple many minutes in front of the terrarium. But I decided to not get one. I could not give her a home sufficient for the species. They need to hibernate during winter and I don’t want to put her in the fridge. Also they need space to roam – not possible in a city apartment. But I will forever love seeing them wherever I can. Just this weekend my sister send me picture from the zoo.

I always wanted curly hair

For a very long time I was rather unhappy with my fine blond boring hair. I wanted curls. So I tried the papilottes and curlers, the braided hair over night version and the curling iron. I even had a perm at one time. For some reason though my hair just doesn’t want to be curled. The perm didn’t stay in for more than 30 minutes. I was a model in a hairdressers exam and we had some trouble there. After the exam everyone asked me what part of the exam I was modeling for and no one could believe I just had a perm done. After that, I decided to just give it up. Some things are just not meant to be.

Are there things you always wanted, even saved money for or fought to get? And then suddenly they lost their spark? I’d be curious to know.

Have a good afternoon

Tobia

2 thoughts on “Things I always wanted and decided not to pursue

  1. Oh man, the what ifs…. do I contemplate them ever!! It’s so so hard to imagine what life would be like if we made different choices, but I definitely think about it a lot.

    I loved reading about the things that you at one point wanted but decided not to pursue. Don’t straight-haired girls always want curls, and vice versa? ;)
    San recently posted…5: Tuesday Topics: How do you budget for races?My Profile

    1. Haha yes definitely – always wanting the other girls hair. But at some point in life it just doesn’t make sense to envy people and situations. But every once in a while the what if’s are a nice mind game.

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