The Comparison Trap {BlogLiebe vol2}

Do you fall into the comparison trap? I know I do. There are moments I am pretty good at not letting stuff get to me but then I do have my weak ones. The ones where I feel nothing is good enough. The ones where it feels everyone else is doing a much better job – at keeping up the blog writing, in filling up the Instagram feed, in managing life…

Recently I feel more trapped. Just for my last blogpost I spent a lot of time researching, baking, writing, taking pictures and uploading. The response is meagre… Can you relate? Those times I wonder what I do “wrong”. Why is no one interested or why does “the algorithm” banish me. I admit it feels awful. But honestly isn’t the real problem that I need the likes and comments? Isn’t it enough that I had a wonderful experience creating something, tasting some homemade fresh steaming rolls with melting butter? That I was able to spend some time doing photography that I love. That I spend a few moments remembering my honeymoon in Finland?

In those moments I need to remind myself why I actually signed up for blogging and Social Media in the first place. Do you still remember? My list looks like this:

  • connect with friends and like minded people –> like crafters
  • find inspiration. For me that is mainly artists, I love watching how they paint, what ideas they follow, what inspires them. Because that sparks my creative juices.
  • a chance to write in English

Exactly, that is it. The list is short. I didn’t sign up to stalk people. I didn’t sign up to see if my next door neighbor had a fancy living room or a messy kitchen. I don’t care what celebrity xyz is wearing. So why should it bother me now when it is plastered all over my feed because the algorithm tells me I might like it?!

I recently unfollowed a few accounts that made me cringe. I knew a few people and I still wait for them to say something but honestly my mental health is more important than keeping up appearances. I’ve done something similar in 2015 when I deleted my entire blog roll and feed reader. Not a smart move if you want to grow a following. But what does it help me if I have a ton of people around me I don’t feel connected to?

It does get a bit more complicated when you need to follow certain people to keep up with your job. I have not yet figured out how to manage that part. I need to know about certain trends and happenings. Unfortunately I am sometimes just bored or either overwhelmed. Currently I follow a lot f Freelancers they all seem to have it figured out much better than I. (At least that is what it seems like.) What to do then?

I’d be interested in your thoughts. If you also like to chat about it feel free to read the other posts Bine collected in February’s thoughts on comparison – her 2019 blog series #blogliebe!

And so November has passed

Wow this month you guys… I feel like I have not accomplished anything this month and then so much has been going on. I am a bit sad that I didn’t get to push through with NaBlPoMo until the end. It was a struggle. I had many more ideas just no time to realise the DIYs I wanted to share. And I just didn’t feel like writing some filler posts just to have something up. That’s how it is. Thanks for still coming along and reading.

craftaliciousme seeking creative life new perspectives dusseldorf medienhafen

I am still happy on what has been put out here to read for you:

#01: 10 Things you dint know about me – Part IV
#02: Random Facts I found fascinating
#03: Homemade Avocado Scrub
#04: My Favorite Books 2018 – Part I
#05: Networking – It’s all about the mindset
#06: Grandmas Herb Soup and the discovery of unknown herbs
#07: The Fascination of Fire
#08: Fear of a Blank Space
#09: Current TV Shows I am Watching
#10: Happiness Review & Coffee Share
#11: Shortlist of my favorite Sacred Architecture
#12: All the Emotions on a Monday :: 12 von 12
#13: Scented Wall Hanging  Recycle Quick Tip #11
#14: Advent Wreath Inspiration
#15: Household Chores – an attempt at a scheduling plan
#17: Happiness Review #26 & Coffee Shares
#18: My Experience with Operation Christmas Child
#19: Favorite Books 2018 – Part II
#20: Ramblings from the sickbed
#21: Spicy Fruit Punch for Winter Days
#22: Photowalk before winter arrives
#23: Chickpea Salad with Tuna
#24: Always, Sometimes, Never

The longest to write where #1, #4, and #19. Most Research went into #11. Most scared to hit publish probably #8 and #15. Posts I wanted to share with you: My annual advent wreath tutorial. I am still making it and the light is so terrible I really don’t know how to take pictures. Now let me know what you favorite post was. And come back tomorrow for a fun winter list.

Happy Friday,

Tobia

All the Emotions on a Monday :: 12 von 12

Today is the 12th of the month and I’ll share my day in photos with you:

12von12_morning light

As most days I grant myself a slow start in my favourite spot with the perfect morning light, a cup of coffee and my journal. However I remembered I had a call with a business friend. So excited and pumped but it turnt out it’s next week …

… it’s ok I squeez in some crafting for my DIY advents calendar swaping which I have to drop of on Friday. I am cutting it way close as those sticks don’t dry. Feeling a bit under pressure here.

After some email checking and business stuff – feeling all legit – I hit the shower and felt like putting a bit more effort into the outfit today. My cozy star necklace was perfect for today.

12von12_cozy necklace

So efficient today and only 11 am – time for breakfast. I decided it’s a day for French toast with homemade apple sauce. Gotta start your Monday right.

While eating I watched another episode of Nashville (why too emotional) and did some crafting along the way. Another deadline this week: my gift for the “Christmas in a Shoebox” needs to be handed in. Time to hassle.

12von12_crafting christmas shoebox

Now let’s do some “real” work and stop procrastinating. Trying to build a website, feeling overwhelmed and inadequate…

12von12_work laptop time to step away and take a walk.

12von12_walkFeeling much better after this (and the not pictured bag of chocolate I inhaled) to get back to it. After re-installing the software twice, almost crashing another site once, I finally got the hang of it. In between I do the household thing… carry towels, move the vacuum robot, water plants…
It’s getting late and I am hungry. Time for dinner. All time fall favorite red beets with feta cheese.

12von12_dinner

While it’s in the oven I enjoy my fire and type a blogpost.

12von12_sitting by the fireHow was your day?

Good night,

Tobia

 

Disclaimer: This post contains links to other Blogs. Due to current (German) law this needs to be labelled advertising. Furthermore I have linked a few of my older articles because I believe you might enjoy them. 

Networking – It’s all about the mindset

›advertising | unpaid reference to blogs, locations, business‹

The past weekend I have been to my 3rd BLOGST conference and my 5th blogger event. People who have met me there would probably not describe me as shy or insecure. They would probably also not believe that I hate despise networking. But all those things apply. But then I realized one thing the past couple of days about networking – it’s all about the mindset.

What do I mean by that?

Well there are two strategies really:
1. Book your ticket so very last minute that you are not able to drive yourself crazy with anxiety.
2. Prepare yourself.

When I go to a blogging event I usually put a lot of preparation into it. Other people plan their outfits (well I do that too but that is the last item on the list) I plan everything else. It makes me feel I am in control and then I can relax. When I am relaxed, I am myself and then I can get the most out of it and actually enjoy and guess what – network.

craftaliciousme – networking mindset Blogst2018

So of course I could just go ahead and say “well why go through all the trouble and buy a ticket to go if I could just hide behind a screen and write a comment every now and then”. Because it’s nice to see real people!

Here are things I do to feel prepared:

  1. I usually go through the attendees list very carefully and try to follow most the people Instagram so I already have the feeling I know them. It just lowers the inhibition threshold. And no please don’t tell me I am stalking. If I feel a connection I will comment and like but nothing forced, nothing to draw attention.
  2. The blogs I find interesting I start following in my feedreader and I make the effort on commenting too – if I have something to say.
  3. I create a twitter list with all attendees. Also very helpful while being at the conference because you can just follow and don’t miss a tweet. Also good to re-read after the sessions.
  4. Then I usually start blogging a tiny bit more beforehand. Makes me feel a more legit being there.
  5. When blogging I usually also realize all the kinks my blog has so it always gets a tiny facelift – win-win.
  6. I book the hotel as soon as I buy the ticket. I can usually cancel the hotel easily when there is a better deal for the conference hotel but I am already set in case not. If possible I would always opt for the conference hotel to meet as many fellow bloggers if possible.
  7. Also I plan enough time for arriving at the conference and some me-time. This way I have enough time to relax before it gets hectic and loud. This trip I had 2 hours to visit the Cologne Cathedral.

Those things are all fine in preparation but then conference day comes around and you still have to show up. There have been times when I felt so out of place. At one conference I felt so lost at the get-together that I actually sneaked out and left after an hour because I felt so lonely. Instead I sat in my room and read. At the same time I was a bit annoyed with myself because I spent money on being there. So for the past three hours I sat here sipping tea thinking what did make this years experience so much different. Why I was so much more positive and why I wasn’t scared. While I believe I am a bit more at ease with myself I also think I developed some tiny little ideas for easier networking. Maybe they help you too.

Networking life hacks to break the ice:

  1. I wrote Bine | waseigenes that I was too scared to talk to her at The HIVE 2013. Telling her that before the conference this time, I knew I had to say hello to not waste another 5 years (also it would have been so embarrassing…). It was so very nice to actually say hello in person. And it wasn’t awkward at all.
  2. I reached out beforehand to Silja | creatipster and asked if we wanted to have dinner again after the conference. Doing so I prevented the awkward feeling of not knowing where to go and who to turn to in the in-between hours.
  3. In the conference Facebook Group were a couple of people talking about going to dinner the night before the conference. I only new two of them from the previous conference and not that good. However I reached out asking if they had a spot left for me. So I was able to see Birgit | relativjung and Bettina | alltagsfeierin again. And met so many other girls like Evelyn.
  4. I got up a tiny bit earlier on conference days and just sat in the lobby to see who was also staying in my hotel. A good way to join a group of people and walk to the conference together. I met Kathrin | innenlebendesign again and got to know Anja | schminktante.
  5. When I got to the conference and stood in line for registration I turned around and talked to the person behind me. This is how I met Nicole | golden freckles. Sometimes it is so easy. Then I just followed her to where she wanted to sit and met her friends Dominique | ohnemehr and Marlene | wiediedietrich.
  6. The next day I did the same thing when I was in the line for coffee and got to talk to Kerstin | minipresents. And for lunch I had a conversation with Daniel | gintonicforbreakfast. Sometimes it is just so easy and not at all hard. Really.
  7. When the conference is over more days then one I never sit at the same seat. Instead I mix it up. So I sat next to Lisa | chiliblueten.
  8. I mentioned where I am from when talking to someone. People who walk by may stop and integrate in the conversation. This is how I met Ani | konfettiregen_berlin and Anja | La Bavarese.
  9. After a speaker is done with a session and I really enjoyed the talk, laughed or learned something I make the effort to walk up and tell them. I am always scared put they just delivered a speech to 200 people so I can do it to one person. This way I was able to talk to Bianca | starkmitworten, Nina | juramama If I don’t catch them because they are surrounded by a huge crowed (and I can not muster up the courage I will at least write a message through instagram: Jules | herz.und.blut)
  10. And then there are the lovely people I know already Filiz | filizity, Julia | deichdeern, Katha | katastrophal and who I try to catch and have a chat with.
  11. Also it is nice to reach out to people who you missed at the conference. I did so with Sandra | dasfreuleinbackt and Nina | pinspiration.

I hope those ideas help you and you have the possibility to find likeminded people around you where you can share your ideas and passions with. I am so grateful for Clara | tastesheriff and Ricarda | 23qm Stil for creating the Blogst Community and the spirit that it always sparks within me.

Wishing you all a wonderful motivation week,

Tobia

 

Disclaimer: This post contains links to other Blogs. Due to current (German) law this needs to be labelled advertising. Furthermore I have linked a few of my older articles because I believe you might enjoy them. 

And this was November

Wow… November is gone. NaBloPoMo is over and I blogged everyday until last night. That’s when real life finally caught up with me. Long work hours, some personal stuff and after sitting 30 minutes in front of a blank screen I just decided why force it. I don’t have to prove anything. Just writing 29 days in a row is such an achievement that there is nothing to be ashamed of to finish off a day early.

morning thoughts bed

Look at all the posts I wrote:

#1: Trying something New – NaBloPoMo
#2: Snack Time – The Egg Sandwich or Eierbrötchen
#3: Park Life #11 – 2017 Photo Project
#4: Instagram Accounts I Like Scrolling
#5: Weekend in Lviv, Ukraine
#6: Kale Pie – Because Pie is always a good idea
#7: Blend in Wrapping Paper Storage – Tutorial
#8: My 10 Most Beloved Blog Posts
#9: Morning Thoughts
#10: 10 Things you don’t know about me – Part III
#11: My Favorite Books 2017 – Part I
#12: Creative Weekend :: 12 von 12
#13: Empty Mind going Crazy
#14: Homemade vegan bath bombs – Tutorial
#15: My Favorite Podcast to Listen To
#16: Apple Yogurt Cake with Maple Butter Glaze
#17: My Favorite Books 2017 – Part II
#18: Wochen(Glück)Rückblick :: My Happiness Review #25
#19: Pine Needle Advent Wreath 2017 – Tutorial
#20: One of those days…
#21: Little Beech Nut Bells in Red and White – Tutorial
#22: Sleep Envy – Sleep Habits and such
#23: Best Traditions I grew up with
#24: Every day Life on a random day in 2017
#25: Saturday Morning Coffee Thoughts
#26: Things I learnt from Grandparents
#27: Winter Bucket List 2017
#28: Fruit Warm Breakfast Oats – 6 variations

There were days I found it difficult to write specially when it was late. But only because all the post I had planned or in my mind were requiring a bit more time or some photos I didn’t yet have and light was gone. So I have a long list of posts I wanted to share that didn’t see daylight yet. But I will share them eventually. The Egg Sandwich post was an idea from 2 or 3 years ago…

Would I do it again. I wouldn’t say no to it. It was fun. But it is time consuming and I also have to admit that my plate was/is a bit too full currently. So I am glad that I can take a breath and don’t need to show up here daily. But maybe I will. Definitely more often. *fingerscrossed*

For now I will enjoy my couch and relax a bit.

Happy evening,

Tobia