Finally Sunday morning. We had to postpone our coffee date for two days because I was too busy, too annoyed, too overwhelmed and had to reschedule. But our talks are also balsam to my soul so we manage to catch up this morning. I am drinking a black tea with moose berry – a souvenir from the Arctic – and you decided to give it a try too. It’s a very unique taste and something I never had before. I wonder what you think.
Sipping our tea we sit on my very sunny but dirty terrace, listen to the birds and if we are very quite we can here the river waves lapping one the shore. And then we start chatting away:
If you and I had coffee…
…I have to give you a little update on all the overwhelming, sad and worrying things that happened lately. I mentioned briefly that by end of April we learned one Tuesday morning that my MIL had passed rather surprisingly. It was very unreal when my husband walked into my home office – I was getting ready for a day at the hospital for a presentation I had to give – when he said his mom had passed. It was so out of the blue that we were both shocked and didn’t really know what to do with ourselves. With six hour time difference to the Dominican Republic we didn’t know if anyone was still awake and how to spend the hours until we were able to talk to anyone. We ended up canceling work for the day and spend four hours walking along the river. That was good. At night we had phone calls and all things that needed planning and looking for flights and what not.
I tell you, flying during an oil crises is shit. Not being able to fly through the US is shit. We didn’t want to risk being send back. And my husband has always an issue flying to the Dominican through the US. It’s always a pain and he always is the random guy that is being checked. Sigh.
Anyway, we ended up sitting in the plane on Friday morning, arriving Friday night and the funeral started Saturday at 8am. Burial was on Sunday around noon. It was some long exhausting and emotional days. We had a few more days until we returned. For various reason I can’t get into here we moved into a hotel on Monday night. We managed to catch up with a bunch of my husband’s friends who all took time to see him. It was nice. Luckily (unfortunately) his best friend who lives in Chile had to rush home as well as he had a similar emergency. We managed to spend two nights together. That was good. And I am happy we had a few silver linings during the trip.
When coming back we both had major work built-up and trying to catch up and avoid disasters, manage deadlines. The husband’s company is still struggling. Not bankruptcy (yet) but its a weekly thing if they manage to survive. It is very energy draining, worrying and keeps us on edge. Easy times feel different. He is hustling and working his butt of and right now its only keeping status quo but not any chance to move the scale to a more positive directions.
And then out of the blue our friends let us know that one of their kids had major traffic accident. The child is unresponsive (it’s been over a week) and it makes me so sad and worried. And I have no idea how we can support. What do they need? How can we help? Without overwhelming and being in the way? I feel so helpless. Sigh. Any ideas welcome.
If you and I had coffee…
…I complain about the laptop being broken during the flight to the Dominican. The display somehow got a hit. I had tried to work with it, ignore it – but it won’t work. The repairing costs close to 900€. A new one would be 1.900€. The insurance wouldn’t cover it. The other insurance didn’t respond. And I need to be on a business trip on next week. So On Thursday I bit the bullet and ordered one for pick-up on Saturday. It’s been the first time I was not happy to spend money on an Apple product. So much so that I cried picking it up. It felt like such a waste of money. I know it’s not logical to cry over this stuff but it was just too much.
And take a guess: when we picked up the mail on Saturday the insurance sent a letter they would cover it… Why didn’t they reply to my email? Arghh. Anyways it still wouldn’t really work since I need the laptop next week. I guess I have it repaired and hope to sell it at a good price to get some compensation back .Still so much annoying tech stuff. I feel like these days my job is entering codes and managing tools. This is not what I signed up for.
And now I am worried someone is stealing my laptop or it’s being broken again. I know its irrational but my mind is spiraling.
While all these worries are a constant companion we had some silver linings and happy moments too in the past weeks. Let’s talk about those.
If you and I had coffee…
…I share the most fun news first. I am an aunt again. Earlier this week happy news reached me that we had another addition to the family. I have not yet seen the little one or talked to the proud parents. Which is fine – I told them to reach out when they have settled and gotten to know each others. But I am so so happy. And looking forward to giving a little gift from the Dominican Republic when we meet the little one.
I had so many plans on sewing little welcome gifts like these little outfits I did for my godchild. I guess there is still time at some point. Any way, I am hoping to visit next weekend. I’d love to hug them all.
If you and I had coffee…
…I excitingly tell you about receiving our golf licensing. The first two weekends of April we spend training and learning and studying and all the things that needed to be done in order to pass. And then in the pouring rain we managed to play a round of 9 holes while our coach was watching, taking notes and seeing how we are doing. It was so much fun being outside, playing, spending time with the husband. And it is something we both enjoy doing together. I had forgotten that. We had a little trial course about four years back and we were equally excited but then never followed up. So now we plan on playing a bit more.
Since our planned summer vacation to Lake Como in June will not happen (various reasons) we decided to spend it at home and use the free month long membership. The plan is to go golfing almost every day – just like you would if you go to a golf hotel I guess. We just need to sit down and fix some tee time. Maybe book one or two coaching sessions too. I want to make sure we make the most of the vacation even though we are staying home.
If you and I had coffee…
…I admit that my fitness and exercising routine I have build over the last 2 years has taken a huge hit. Right now I can not find any energy to do anything. Not even yoga – even though I know I would feel so much better. I am a morning exercising girl. If I don’t get it done before I get to the desk there is almost zero chance I do it at night. But lately – and here is an another silver lining – I have been sleeping a lot. So much so that I was already worried it might be a sign something is wrong. It’s stupid… I know. I can report that there have been several nights with over 7 hours of sleep. And *gasp* a few with over 8 hours. I don’t know the last time that really happened. But most interesting is that I have nights where I do not wake up. I mean I do wake up according to my watch but I cannot remember and it accumulates to 6 minutes or so. What is going on? I love the feeling in the morning, the alertness. If that is how it’s supposed to be? And my deep sleep is increasing too. I which I knew what triggers this better sleep experience. Is it just exhaustion? Did I change something else?
If you and I had coffee…
…I confess I have been buying a few new clothing items for myself in the past weeks. And I could go on a huge shopping spree if I am being honest but I am holding myself back. For some reason I feel like I need more fashion. I have these waves every few years. I think the last big one was when I prepared for the mystery cruise and needed a whole new wardrobe for summer. Maybe I should make a little wish list for my upcoming birthday and people can pick a few things I would love to get.
Our tea has been drunk, the sun is starting to burn our skin, It is time to start the day and get back to our many engagements. I need to pack my bags as I will be on a business trip next week. I need to make my nails and get a few things sorted.
Tell me a happy thing in your life! How can we support our friends? Any ideas what to do during our vacationing at home? Have you ever played golf? Are you an aunt? What fun things you do with your niece and nephew?
15 comments
(Now you have this comment twice, I see your comments are working now, so I’m pasting it here where it makes sense.)
I’m so sorry about your MIL, that’s so shocking and difficult. I’m glad there were some silver linings in there, getting to see friends and so on.
Oh, the heartbreak for your friends with their child in the accident! How to support them…you said one of their children, so anything you can do to support the other child…are they in school? Can you pick up or drop off? Can you bring them a meal or two? Or arrange for something to be dropped off? Clean something for them? These are the things that feel overwhelming I think, and might be helpful.
If I were you with the computer, I would use the new one for your work, get the old one fixed, and then once it’s working, see if you can wipe the old one and return it for a full refund. It might not work, but it’s worth a try.
I hope things calm down and improve for your husband’s company. I wonder if your sleep is just due to stress, and needing more rest. I hope that’s not it, I hope it is a change somehow and you will be able to keep sleeping better.
I’m so sorry to read about your friend’s child. How sad. And again, so sorry for the loss of your MIL. And then your laptop broke. You have had a rough time. I hope things will be better now. It’s nice that you could think of some good things – like sleeping! That’s amazing! Vacationing at home with golfing dates sounds wonderful. I have only golfed one time, and it didn’t go very well. I am an aunt, but my nephew is all grown up now. We used to take him swimming, which he loved.
Yes it’s been a bit rough. But I know many other people are also struggling. It’s just overall not easy and trying.
We’ve talked a bit about the vacation and mentioned a few things each one of us likes to do.
Swimming is nice. I would never take anyone thought because I feel I am not a strong swimmer in case something happens. Don’t you spend time together anymore?
I don’t know if I like the tea, but I am willing to try. Sending strength and hugs through the ether.
Let’s do yoga at least once this week!
I’ve lots of other tea if you don’t like it.
Thank you.
No yoga yet but two meditation.
What a hard time you’ve had lately. Why do crises always pile on together at the same time? Congratulations on your new niece. That is exciting. The plan to get into golfing during your holiday is a good one, and it will get you a hit of exercise as well. One happy thing is that I had a games night with the kids on Saturday.
Yes, why is it that everything piles up. It’s also coming in waves. Every seven years or so? I don’t know might be my perception.
Game night sounds fun.
Thank you for the lovely postcard from the arctic! It came several days ago, it’s lovely and thank you for thinking of me.
You Birthday card arrived already. But when I read birthday I tugged it back in the envelope and read on my special day. But thank you so much.
Oh, I’m glad it got there in plenty of time. Clearly I mailed it really early, one never knows with international postage.
No mine is always so so late.
I need to remember that I have to mail stuff 8 weeks prior. Crazy.
Hi Tobia!!! Just popping back in to reconnect, and I see this sad news. I’m so sorry about your MIL! Both my parents have passed so I know how hard it is- but in both cases, it was not sudden. I’m trying to imagine how shocking it was for you and your husband to get that news.
About your friends’ child… I’m late in commenting here so not sure if there’s been a change in that situation. I would agree with Julie that meals are always welcome. From my own experience, having to make dinner in stressful times just feels like the last straw. But people still have to eat, and especially if they have other kids, they need to get meals on the table.
It sounds like you’ve had a LOT of stress lately, and your body is responding by sleeping. That is exactly what you need!!! Yes you should try to get back to yoga and you will when the time is right. Meanwhile a gold vacation at home with your husband sounds like what you both need right now. HUGS!!!
Thank you Jenny for your kind words.
My heart bleeds so much for my husband since both parents died suddenly. His mother in law wasn’t as shocking as his father shortly before our wedding but still. I had hoped it would be different.
We haven’t seen our friends yet. They are rather busy but we are sending kind words. The child has been moved to a facility outside of Berlin (about 90 min) and is still not responsive. It is so sad.
But if we get to meet them I will most definitely bring some food for the freezer.
Uff, Tobia. You’ve been going through a lot lately. I want to give you a big hug and tell you to breathe. I am so sorry about the sudden loss of your MIL. I can imagine it must have been quite a shock, especially since you’re so far away and had to make arrangements to travel and all that. I am glad you got to connect with family and friends, though.
I am also very sad about your friend’s child, who has been in an accident. Any updates on its recovery? It’s hard to know how to support, but I think just being there to listen can be helpful. Maybe bring a meal or offer to run errands for them?
And then the laptop situation and the worry about your husband’s job on top of it all. I can only imagine that you’re DONE with this month…. but I am excited about you being a new aunt. I love that you enjoy golfing and I am so happy your body lets you sleep right now. That is huge.
The sleep indeed is so huge and I am constantly in awe that you can feel so refreshed in the morning. If I have to compromise to sleep like this I am listening. The months of May has been rough. Maybe I am also worn thin but it’s a lot.