How would you act if you are forgettable?

I have just finished reading “The Sudden Appearance of Hope” and I have many thoughts about this book. It’s been a while that a book as stirred up so much within. I figured that would be a good way to sort it out by just writing about it.
I don’t want to take away much of the storyline and I hope I’ll not spoiler anything by saying that the main character “Hope” has a condition of being forgotten after stepping out of peoples eyesight. This brings along a lot of difficulties for her to handle life in general but also stirs up thoughts about existence and behavior.

Now right here is the first question that I have had while reading this book. How would I feel when people keep forgetting me. Like for real – forgetting I exist. How complicated would life get. Imagine having dinner in a restaurant never being served. Imagine being at the doctors and no one tending to you.

The other more important questions are though: How would I act if no one remembers me?
How would I act if my actions can not be traced back to me? Of course I would like to think I am a good human. Does that mean I would only act fairly? It must be very tempting to do something and not suffer any consequences. Have an argument and say whatever you really want because the other person will not remember and things go back to the way they were. Or taking the last piece of cake everyone wants to have. Maybe spill someones coffee because that person was mean to me. It is tempting…
Also this would be the perfect cover for any spy. Imagine how many crimes could be solved. How many information gathered without killing. Or any journalist trying to uncover unfairness. One could do a lot of good too. So the question remains: What would my conscience be like? Because it could go the other way too…

I would like to think I will not harm anyone. But how much can a person take if only rejection, confusion and denial is around one? If you are lonely all the time, if there is no human connection. If your own conscience and your own believes are the sole bar for judgement. Will that judgement be fair? Will I favour certain things? Would I slowly resolve into criminal activities just because I could. I really hope I’d act the way I believe I would act. I am glad I will never be tested.

So if you asked me how I liked that book. Honestly I don’t know. It took me 5 weeks to read and had barely 500 pages. This is very long for me. I had a hard time with the writing style not because it wasn’t good – it fitted the book. But there was no flow to it. And then made it extremely difficult for me to stay focused and have (at times) a positive reading experience. However this book contains so many snippets of knowledge, thoughts, ideas and philosophical sparks that I am pretty sure I only scratched the surface. It is one of those books I believe where you’ll find a new angle every time you pick it up. So it’s already on my “read again” list. For now I’ll give it 3,5*.

If you read the book I am really interested what you have been thinking. Leave a comment here (or on Goodreads) I would love to discuss.

Happy reading

Tobia

VIRTUAL COFFEE DATE | VOL II

It’s time to meet for our virtual coffee date and I am so thankful for you to join me again.

First of I would…

pour us a cup of coffee and add a spoon of coconut oil. It’s my current favorite and perfect way to flavor the coffee without adding any sugar. It’s also quite filling. Did you ever try it?

I would…

then like to tell you about my struggle to finish my current book “The sudden appearance of Hope”. I have started it over three weeks ago and for some reason it takes forever to get through. Maybe it’s because I have a lot of other stuff going on and I am regularly reading something else, but still. I’ve a lot of thoughts about this book and think I need to sort this out in a separate post. Have you read this book yet?

I would…

want to tell you about the new car we finally picked up last weekend. It’s been ordered in June and was supposed to be delivered end of November. So it’s high time we finally got to pick it up. Unfortunately all the delay is just taking the fun out of it… Weird way the human mind works.

I would…

like to let you know that my photo job I mentioned last time went really well. The client was more than happy and I have been able to pick up a few more tricks. But I love learning so I booked myself a portrait workshop at the community college. I’ve been waiting for this course two years. The professor was on maternity leave and I happy she’s back so I can finally take the class.

Also I would…

want to know if you are joining #the100dayproject. I will participate for the fourth time. I successfully finished in year one with #100daysofcraftaliciouspatterns and in year three with #100daysofcraftaliciousdrops. Currently I have a list of five ideas. The whole fun starts on April 2. Let me know if you join so we can motivate each other when it gets tough.

And finally I would…

let you know that my godchild will come visit over the weekend. She is already over twenty. The weather will be poor so it will be lots of movies (our favourite) with some Gin Tonics and just hanging out and enjoy our time together. I always cherish those weekends.

Now I need to run and get everything in order for the weekend, catch up on some work, run a few errands…

Later I’ll take a break and jump in for a coffee with Lecy and Denise and see how she is doing this time around. Who will I meet?

Have a wonderful day

Tobia

The Comparison Trap {BlogLiebe vol2}

Do you fall into the comparison trap? I know I do. There are moments I am pretty good at not letting stuff get to me but then I do have my weak ones. The ones where I feel nothing is good enough. The ones where it feels everyone else is doing a much better job – at keeping up the blog writing, in filling up the Instagram feed, in managing life…

Recently I feel more trapped. Just for my last blogpost I spent a lot of time researching, baking, writing, taking pictures and uploading. The response is meagre… Can you relate? Those times I wonder what I do “wrong”. Why is no one interested or why does “the algorithm” banish me. I admit it feels awful. But honestly isn’t the real problem that I need the likes and comments? Isn’t it enough that I had a wonderful experience creating something, tasting some homemade fresh steaming rolls with melting butter? That I was able to spend some time doing photography that I love. That I spend a few moments remembering my honeymoon in Finland?

In those moments I need to remind myself why I actually signed up for blogging and Social Media in the first place. Do you still remember? My list looks like this:

  • connect with friends and like minded people –> like crafters
  • find inspiration. For me that is mainly artists, I love watching how they paint, what ideas they follow, what inspires them. Because that sparks my creative juices.
  • a chance to write in English

Exactly, that is it. The list is short. I didn’t sign up to stalk people. I didn’t sign up to see if my next door neighbor had a fancy living room or a messy kitchen. I don’t care what celebrity xyz is wearing. So why should it bother me now when it is plastered all over my feed because the algorithm tells me I might like it?!

I recently unfollowed a few accounts that made me cringe. I knew a few people and I still wait for them to say something but honestly my mental health is more important than keeping up appearances. I’ve done something similar in 2015 when I deleted my entire blog roll and feed reader. Not a smart move if you want to grow a following. But what does it help me if I have a ton of people around me I don’t feel connected to?

It does get a bit more complicated when you need to follow certain people to keep up with your job. I have not yet figured out how to manage that part. I need to know about certain trends and happenings. Unfortunately I am sometimes just bored or either overwhelmed. Currently I follow a lot Freelancers they all seem to have it figured out much better than I. (At least that is what it seems like.) What to do then?

I’d be interested in your thoughts. If you also like to chat about it feel free to read the other posts Bine collected in February’s thoughts on comparison – her 2019 blog series #blogliebe!

Virtual Coffee Date | vol I

Hello my dear,

Do you sometimes feel all your friends are all over the place? No one is close by for a quick coffee chat? Well, that’s what it feels like for me every once in a while. So why don’t you join me and Lecy for a virtual coffee date and let’s chat a bit about what is going on. I have a few things to share and I am glad you have time for a virtual coffee date.

virtual coffee date with Tobia | craftaliciousme

I would …
go ahead and order an earl grey tea with a dash of milk. It seems like I can never get enough. And then I would quickly tell you that my favorite green tea blend is no longer available. It was a service where I could mix it myself and I spend years perfecting it. So sad. Not even a heads up so I could stock up.

I would …
enthusiastically tell you about my husbands friend, a Dominican film producer, who premiered his movie “Holy Beast” at the Berlinale yesterday. It’s the first ever Dominican movie shown at the festival. It was so great to share this moment with him and see him so proud. Something about people achieving their dreams just makes me happy.

I would …
also tell you very enthusiastically that I have recently landed my first photography job (outside of family) and will be doing a portrait shoot today. Fingers crossed all goes well. They will be needed for a book publishing. I am really proud.

I would …
tell you about my fifth wedding anniversary. Can you believe it’s been 5 years since our winter wedding? It feels like nothing has really happened in the last five years but then so much. One thing hasn’t happened for sure and that is winter. Since our wedding there was no decent winter in Berlin. I haven’t been able to get out my ice skates. We had hardly any snowfall. This year I didn’t even crack out my winter jacket. Global warming is real my friend. Maybe I need to book a trip to Scandinavia rather urgently to get my snow fix.

Also I would …
need to talk about books. I have been reading a lot again. I have set – for the first time ever – a reading goal list for 2019. My plan is to read 40 books and I already have read 8. Most of them were awesome but the last was really annoying. So I was wondering and wanted to ask: How do you handle a bad book. Do you keep on reading or do you stop? Also, do you review bad books? I always try to review on Goodreads but mainly for myself so I can remember.

And then I would …
also ask if it is too early to think about Easter crafts. My fingers are itching to get back to my Sorbian Easter eggs. So many more patterns to explore and it’s just so meditative. Only problem is, I never hang up any eggs. I wonder if people would buy them. But then I always think it’s not good enough yet…

Before we leave our coffee date I would ask what is going on in your life. What are your next big plans. What struggles have you came a cross and what book have you read.

Then we would hug and wave good bye.
Until next time friend

Tobia

Reading Goals for 2019

In the last couple of years my reading has picked up significantly. I love it. I always read a lot during my childhood and I am really happy to have re-discovered this hobby. So for the first time I am attempting to write down some reading goals. I’ve never done it but got some inspiration from Lecy. So let’s see of this would work for me as well.

In the previous years I have mainly read free novels I could find on amazon for my kindle. So I figured I will give myself a budget in the beginning of the year to spend on reading otherwise I will again reach for free novels instead of books I really want to read. My hope is that I will end up with a mixture of books I discover and books I am interested because of recommendations. Also this way I could sign up for a monthly membership when I know I have a lot of reading time coming up. I need those tiny tricks to cheat myself into investing. Also last year I went ahead and bought the books I wanted to read right at the beginning of January.

I want to read 40 books in 2019. This is manageable as I read 50 last year. But I want to read a few more “complicated ones” which take more time for me. Ok, let’s see if I can sum up some books I want to read. Everything else is up to my mood.

Fiction Books
  • Jade City, Fonda Lee – I love fantasy and this seems to be a good one. ✔️Finished in May 2019
  • Strange the Dreamer, Laini Taylor – and here is another fantasy one with great reviews. ✔️ January 2019
  • Finishing the All Roads Lead Home, L.L. Ward series – I read the first one and really enjoyed it and just realized there are three more. ✔️ Forgetting There Finished June 2019, ✔️ Regretting There Finished July 2019, ✔️ Besetting There Finished July 2019
  • Book or author that won a Nobel Prize – thinking about The Unconsoled or The Burried Giant, Kazuo Ishiguro
  • Ice Genisis, Kevin Tinto – I really enjoyed the first book in the series so I am looking forward to see how this unfolds. ✔️Finished in May 2019
  • A Place called Freedom, Ken Follet – I haven’t read a book from him that disappointed and this one was on sale recently (0,99€) so of course I got it. ✔️Finished April 2019
Non-Fiction & Guidance Books
  • Non-violent communication: A language of life, Marshall A. Rosenberg – I’ve started this one in 2018 but didn’t get done. This is something I need to work through so I will continue and hopefully finish.
  • The Creative Habit: Learn stand use it for Life, Twyla Tharp – other book I am working on far too long. For some reason it’s not really captivating but everyone references to it. So this year I’ll give it another try.
  • A Brief History of Time, Stephan Hawkins – I asked for this one for Christmas. I know this will be a tough read so I got the illustrated version. But I also believe my mind will expand.
  • Born a Crime, Trevor Noah – I like him and his humor but I really interested in his story. In my teens I read a lot about South Africa and apartheid.
  • The Girl in the Letter, Emily Gunnis – read someones review and it ended up on my TBR list ✔️Done in February 2019
  • When Breath Becomes Air, Paul Kalanithi – I am interested but I am not sure if I am up to it. I know I will be very emotional here.
  • The Bible – never read it whole and my goal is for the coming years to read other religious books like the Koran, Thora or Pali-Kanon. Because it doesn’t hurt knowing more about things that are different. Jeannette posted a worksheet to help with this reading goal.
German Books

I set out last year to read more in my native tongue. I find it hard to do as usually those books are not as engaging for me. However I realized it is good to read German every once in a while. And some authors who neither write in English nor German I can easily read in the German translation.

  • Momo, Michael Ende – I’ve read this book but I believe I was too young back then and there will be lots of wisdom hidden within.
  • One Book by Jules Verne – probably “Überwinterung im Eis” ✔️Done in July 2019
  • A Classic – I think it’s going to be Dracula, Bram Stoker which has been on my reading list way too long. It’s my only piece I own of my late father in law so it’s emotional.
  • Blackout – Morgen ist es zu spät, Marc Elsberg – this one sounds really intriguing. All Europe without power after a hacker attack.

Well this is 19 books so far. All other ones I just pick up as I go to achieve my reading goal of 40 books. I will also aim to finish some of those series I started in the past years. I’m off to a good start as I just finished my first book in 2019. If you are curious which one that was, come check it out on Goodreads.

Now if you have any recommendations on how to handle an annual reading list or books I would enjoy, feel free to leave a comment.
Until then happy reading,

Tobia