The Comparison Trap {BlogLiebe vol2}

Do you fall into the comparison trap? I know I do. There are moments I am pretty good at not letting stuff get to me but then I do have my weak ones. The ones where I feel nothing is good enough. The ones where it feels everyone else is doing a much better job – at keeping up the blog writing, in filling up the Instagram feed, in managing life…

Recently I feel more trapped. Just for my last blogpost I spent a lot of time researching, baking, writing, taking pictures and uploading. The response is meagre… Can you relate? Those times I wonder what I do “wrong”. Why is no one interested or why does “the algorithm” banish me. I admit it feels awful. But honestly isn’t the real problem that I need the likes and comments? Isn’t it enough that I had a wonderful experience creating something, tasting some homemade fresh steaming rolls with melting butter? That I was able to spend some time doing photography that I love. That I spend a few moments remembering my honeymoon in Finland?

In those moments I need to remind myself why I actually signed up for blogging and Social Media in the first place. Do you still remember? My list looks like this:

  • connect with friends and like minded people –> like crafters
  • find inspiration. For me that is mainly artists, I love watching how they paint, what ideas they follow, what inspires them. Because that sparks my creative juices.
  • a chance to write in English

Exactly, that is it. The list is short. I didn’t sign up to stalk people. I didn’t sign up to see if my next door neighbor had a fancy living room or a messy kitchen. I don’t care what celebrity xyz is wearing. So why should it bother me now when it is plastered all over my feed because the algorithm tells me I might like it?!

I recently unfollowed a few accounts that made me cringe. I knew a few people and I still wait for them to say something but honestly my mental health is more important than keeping up appearances. I’ve done something similar in 2015 when I deleted my entire blog roll and feed reader. Not a smart move if you want to grow a following. But what does it help me if I have a ton of people around me I don’t feel connected to?

It does get a bit more complicated when you need to follow certain people to keep up with your job. I have not yet figured out how to manage that part. I need to know about certain trends and happenings. Unfortunately I am sometimes just bored or either overwhelmed. Currently I follow a lot Freelancers they all seem to have it figured out much better than I. (At least that is what it seems like.) What to do then?

I’d be interested in your thoughts. If you also like to chat about it feel free to read the other posts Bine collected in February’s thoughts on comparison – her 2019 blog series #blogliebe!

6 thoughts on “The Comparison Trap {BlogLiebe vol2}

  1. Ugh, I SO feel this. Like, isn’t it/shouldn’t it be enough for me to create content that brings me joy, to document life for myself? Why do I need the validation of likes, comments, engagement, & shares? It’s hard sometimes, & it feels demoralizing or discouraging – but ultimately, I think there are more people like us, small-time bloggers & Instagrammers, etc., who are just doing it for the enjoyment with the hopes of engagement, than the big-time folks, & I take small comfort in knowing that this is the prevailing feeling & that we’re not, like, failures or something. I always try to take comfort, too, in knowing that in being a small-time blogger, I don’t always have to be, feel, or look perfect, like the folks with larger audiences do! I guess that’s a relief? Ha.

    1. Oh we are definitely no failures! It might feel lonely at times but I strongly believe even if we create something for ourself we bring beauty to this world as we will be a happier persons. And who knows maybe someday in the future it will brighten someone elses life too. And that alone was all it needs to be. And who doesn’t say that the big-shot bloggers are very lonely IRL while we have a lot of loved ones. There are always two sides… Glad you are here. Thank you!

  2. You know, I think people comment less in general. I’ve seen a steady decline in comments over the years, people who used to blog have stopped and are also not reading anymore (or maybe they read, but don’t take the time to comment). I also think a lot of people read on their phones these days and it’s more cumbersome to comment on your phone than it is from a computer. I often end up “batch-commenting” on the weekend (or during a break, like now! ;)) when I am at a computer and have my keyboard in front of me.
    Does that make sense?

    All this to say, I feel you. I find it hard these days to find new readers that engage…. but then again, I am also not really advertising my blog (are you?) and my readers have all come to my blog generically over time. I do try to make the effort to comment as much as I can and also especially comment back on the blogs of people who take the time and effort to read and comment on mine!

    1. It’s definitely true that people don’t take time commenting and even reading. I’ve just seen a survey by another blogger on Instagram (within the blogging community!) asking if they’d rather read Instagram or blog posts. It was discouraging. So I do get why people quite. But I always wanted to have an outlet and a place to document my creative process and what happens when I delete my Social Media? So if anyone follows along I am happy but as you said I’d also do not advise my blog. High five to loyal readers

  3. Liebe Tobia,
    ich danke Dir von Herzen, dass Du Deine Gedanken und Gefühle zu diesem Thema mit uns teilst.
    Ich kann Dich so gut verstehen – und ich bin mir sicher: (fast) alle Frauen, egal, ob sie erfolgreicher oder weniger
    erfolgreich sind, fühlen, denken und empfinden so.
    Mach weiter – habe Spaß an dem, was Du tust und alles ist gut.
    Liebste Grüße, Bine

    1. Ach Bine,
      hab dank für die aufmunternden Worte. ist doch verrückt, dass wir uns alle kirre machen und doch irgendwie mit ähnlichen Gedanken rumschlagen.
      Ich scheine in 2019 tatsächlich wieder ein bisschen mehr Freude am bloggen gefunden zu haben.
      Freue mich schon aufs nächste Thema.
      Tobia

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