At the Moment #6/2020

It’s my birthday today. And for a few years I take a minute (or two) to do an annual check in. It puts the year in perspective. It shows all the good things that happened. And it helps me realize to what I wish for. What I hope for. And this time around hoping and wishing is much needed.

at the moment craftaliciousme seeking creative life

.I think:
… 2020 will be a very peculiar year. So much is happening – half of what we are probably not (yet) recognizing. Most we are missing and still it’s effecting every single person on this planet one way or the other it seems. Pandemic, civil war like situations in the U.S., refugees in camps, horrific fires in Australia, earthquakes… You name it. And this year is not even half over. So much living we have to do…

.I like:
… not having migraines as badly anymore. Just this morning I had an aura but usually they pass without any pain now. The shots seemed to really have helped.

.I don’t like:
… myself a lot of times. And that is a very sad realization.

.I feel:
… Weltschmerz. I don’t know any other way to describe the current wariness. The disillusioning of what is happening to this world. So much pain. So much hate. So many egocentric people.

.I wear:
… my Apple Watch daily now.

.I learn:
… Spanish and should pick up a regular routine again. Also trying myself to read faster.

.I need:
…more self-confidence

.I’m annoyed by:
… people being egoistic.

.I want:
… to be able to read faster. Imagine all the books you could devour.

.I hear:
… my favorite playlist called “my happy place”.

.I’m making:
… all the things. This years 100 day project is finishing up all those projects I started, never finished or never tackled. I have made quite a few things lately. Right now I am working on doing our wedding photo album. It drags on. I am not good at editing out.

.I eat:
… asparagus. As long as it is still in season.

.I drink:
… a lot of coffee.

.I gather:
… herbs and wild leaves to make my own herbal tea for fall season. At least that is my plan.

.I smell:
… the neighbors cat litter box. The disadvantage of a balcony in an apartment building.

.I miss:
… my best friend. Our monthly date has been canceled three times and I haven’t seen her since the beginning of March. I hope we soon will.

.I regret:
… not being able to listen closely. Not being able to express my thoughts correctly. Causing pain.

.I enjoy:
… my quiet mornings where I read and learn new things and drink my coffee. And finally I can do it on the balcony again.

.I appreciate:
… Mr. ♡ taking the day off even though he is drowning at work because I had such a crappy experience last year being all by myself all day on my birthday.

.I trust.
… we will see better times. I trust we will come out stronger as a society. I trust that history will not repeat itself and that the human race is actually able to learn from its mistakes.

.I dream:
… of house or apartment by the water. Still. Forever. Probably.

.I read:
… Pippi Longstocking. It seemed like the right time to dive into my favorite children’s book.

Well, this has been a bit gloomy. Didnt want it to be but apparently that is the feeling at the moment. I love checking back and comparing with previous years once I am done writing. Feel free to also have a look: 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019.

Happy birthday to me and happy day to you


2 thoughts on “At the Moment #6/2020

  1. Happy birthday, Tobia. <3 I don't think I knew when your birthday is (writing it down right now!).
    I hope you have a lovely day, despite everything that is going on in the world. I definitely feel the "Weltschmerz" right now as well. I also feel like I want to do something, but the more I read, the more I am confused what to say or what not to say. But sometimes saying something wrong is better than not saying anything at all.

    I am sad that you said that you don't like yourself most of the time. Why is that?

    1. Thank you so much for the birthday wishes. I did have a wonderful day and I could not be happier right now. The feeling of wanting to do something but not knowing what I feel it too. I have to step back from online life in those moments because I feel like a lot is happening there but is not put to action in real life. It just very overwhelming. I am sorry I made you sad. I was pondering if I should write that but it felt right. I am not sure… well I guess a lot has to do with not being as fit and healthy as I used to be and I just don’t get a grip.

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